We did it. We made it through what I thought would be the impossible and we survived. Maybe it's knowing that we are leaving Sadie in the loving arms of this beautiful woman. 
Maybe it's the thought that I have so much to do to prepare myself, my home, and my other children for the day when she enters our lives for good. Maybe it's knowing that taking the time now to do those preparations will better help her adjust to our family in the long run. While these are all true, I know the ultimate reason we made it through this day was that the Lord was with us. He was walking beside us just as He has every step of this faith-filled journey and I am so very grateful.
Today, we had less than two hours with our girl. In that 2 hours, Sadie made a wonderful new discovery - her Daddy makes a GREAT jungle gym! It started out as a game of peek-a-boo, with her hiding behind his back and him trying to find her. Slowly, she pushed him forward and he over-dramatically fell. A new game! After several repeats, she decided it was time to fall on top of him and then...climb aboard! As I've watched Andrew with Sadie over the past 5 days, my heart has fallen in love with this man all over again. He is a good daddy. A good, good daddy who is already over the moon for this little girl. God has so blessed me in giving me this amazing man!
I measured Sadie with a measuring tape to be able to figure out her size when we get home, I colored with her, I let her rummage through my purse, and I stole all the extra kisses she would allow. I held the tears at bay as long as I could. I did okay.
And, then they said it was time to pack up and drive her back to her house. They let me dress her in her over suit and put on her boots. They let me carry her down the stairs and into the car. My throat burned but, I held it together.
And, then we drove up to her house and unloaded. We walked her inside and the tears began to fall. She seemed to know what was happening. She stuck out her bottom lip, reached for me, gave me a hug, then turned back and hugged her Baba. She gave Andrew love and kept blowing us kisses. She waved as we drove away.
A piece of my heart is being left here in Bulgaria and I know it won't be whole for many, many months. If I seem scatter-brained, or snap too easily, or wipe tears from my eyes a lot over the next few months, please forgive me. My emotions are high and my heart has been forever changed. But, I rest in the knowledge that those first steps away from her were actually the first steps toward walking back to her, that God loves her dearly and will watch over her until we return, and that soon she will be with us forevermore. So long for now, sweet Sadie girl. Mommy loves you forever and ever and always!
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