Six Months a Family!

Six months home.  Wow.  On one hand it feels as though Sadie has been with us all of her life.  On the other, I feel like we are just scratching the surface of really knowing her.

I've begun to know her faces and what they mean.  There's one that says, "I know exactly what you are saying, but I'm going to pretend I don't so that I don't have to do what you are telling me to do."

And one that says, "This is the greatest thing ever and I want you to make this face, too, so that I know you know it's the greatest thing ever!"

Then there's the face that says, "I will win this battle.  Yeah.  I'm not losing."  That face makes me want to explode.

Until the face that says, "I'm tired and ready to snuggle in deep," melts me.

Our girl has made such huge strides over the last 6 months.  From the outside, it may seem small, but every day I watch her grow and I think, "Wow!  She couldn't do that yesterday!  Now she can!"

• climbing up on the swing all by herself
• pointing correctly when I ask where her body parts are (eyes, mouth, nose, ears, etc)
• eating a bowl of peanuts without choking or stuffing her mouth too full
• fully potty trained during the day!!
• answering "John!" when I point to him and ask her "Who's that?"
• pointing to what she wants and saying, "That!"
• correctly using phrases like, "Here, Mommy," "There you go," "All done," "All gone," "Thank you, Daddy," "On," "Down," and so many more.
• answering questions by shaking her head and saying, "No" or nodding and saying "Yes."
• eating with a spoon and fork almost completely on her own, all the time.
• eating whatever we are eating without much modification.
• sitting and looking at a book right side up 90% of the time, rather than upside down.
• sitting through my reading a WHOLE book, beginning to end, once or twice a day (all other attempts throughout the day end after the first page or two).
• feeding our dog by taking the cup of food, walking to the bowl down the hall, pouring, then returning the cup to the bin of food.

Sadie is even in the beginning stages of learning colors, animal names and sounds, and how to count. She can't do any of those well or correctly yet, but I'm beginning to see little flashes of understanding and recognition that I'm hoping will lead to comprehension.  

She's also bonded really well with her brothers.  John and Joseph adore her!  They smother her with kisses, play with her, and teach her.  I often hear, "You're so cute, Sadie, I just can't stand it!!"

Luke currently has a love/hate relationship with Sadie.  The other day I was asking him all kinds of "What's your favorite..." questions.  I asked, "Who's your best friend?" and he immediately replied, "Sadie!"  He loves her.  But, he gets SOOOO frustrated with her for taking his toys, for not understanding how to play his games, for messing up his duplo creations.  And, most importantly, for taking Mommy and Daddy's attention away from him.  We are trying so, so hard to spread our attention evenly among all of the kids.  But, I think Luke still feels slighted and overlooked.  Of all the kids, this adoption has been the hardest on him.  Any chance I get, I scoop him in my arms and read to him or snuggle him or play with him.  He needs that desperately right now.  And, as his mama, I desperately want to soak in this stage of his.  He is so cute I want to eat him up and I don't want to miss that with all the work I'm doing with Sadie.

Sadie's also working on bonding with Andrew and me.  She is learning to love us and learning that we are here to stay.  She's also realizing that we expect her to follow the same rules that the boys follow and we aren't going to treat her differently from them simply because she has Down Syndrome.  We love on her all the time, give her lots of kisses, but also expect obedience and respect.  This is a new concept for her.  I'm not sure how much she was expected to follow rules in the past, to share, to follow instructions, to sit and listen to a story, to behave correctly at the table, to engage in learning.  We are expecting her to do all of those things and are working to teach her and train her up in a way that glorifies God.  Unfortunately, it's a lot for a 3 year old child to take in when the concepts are all new.  We get that, we really do, but we also have to keep training in love so that she will learn.  It is hard, and there are lots of tears (hers and mine).  Tears when she doesn't want to obey, yet we walk her through the steps anyway.  Tears when she doesn't want to wait her turn for a toy, yet we make her wait.  Tears when she doesn't want to swallow her food before getting down from the table, yet we don't allow her to go until she has swallowed.  The days are filled with battles, small battles all day long.  God is stretching our patience in ways that we never knew it needed to be stretched!

On the flip side, our days are also filled with many moments of joy!  The joy of watching Sadie twirl around in circles when I turn on the music.  Joy when I lay on my back, put her on my legs and let her fly like superwoman - her face lights up the room!  Joy when Andrew gets her giggling and cackling as he tickles and wrestles with her and the boys.  Joy when we tell her "I love you!" and she responds, "Luf you."  Joy when she goes to tell Luke good-night and the two hug tight, kiss, and he says, "I love you, Sadie, so much."  Joy when I look out the window and see John pushing Sadie on the swing, her grinning huge.

Do we have regrets?  Do we wish we had chosen the easier path...the path of least resistance?  I'd be lying if I sat here and told you tonight that I've never thought, "Life would be so much easier if we hadn't said, 'Yes.'"  I have been guilty of thinking that many, many times over the last 6 months.  But, two days ago I heard about a little 5 year old girl, weighing 10lbs in a Bulgarian orphanage who died from starvation.  She had Down Syndrome and a family racing to bring her home.  Sadie was one of the "lucky" ones who was in a good orphanage and then lived with a great foster mom.  Yet she has scars and is struggling to adapt to a new life.  It's hard.  We are exhausted physically and mentally.  But, do we regret saying, "Yes?"  Never in a million years.  The "hard" that we are experiencing now while we are in the trenches of adjustment is nothing compared to what an orphan goes through, starving in a crib.

I'm so very thankful that God gave us the gift of this beautiful little girl.  I'm thankful that she makes me see my weaknesses and plead with the Father to grow me into a better Mama than I was the day before.  I'm thankful for her hugs, her kisses, her grins, and her baby babble.  I'm beyond thankful that she calls me, "Mama" and that we get to go through this beautiful, messy life together, hand in hand!

**A million thanks to Helen Joy George for the gorgeous pictures.  This talented lady captured the personality of all of our kids and the truths of our lives right now - tears and all.  Be sure to check out her blog!  Thank you, sweet friend, for sharing your talents with our family!!

3 Months Home!

3 months ago today, this beautiful girl came into our lives for good!  At that time, she would not step foot into the bathroom, much less into the tub.  She ate only pureed food, spoon fed to her.  She knew no English words and had never met her 3 crazy brothers.  Today, she loves every minute of bath time and swimming in the pool.  She feeds herself with a spoon or fork and eats most table foods.  She chews her food and drinks from a straw.  She says 10 to 15 English words consistently, will tell us when she needs to go potty and goes!  She wrestles with her brothers and gives them kisses all day long.  She is a joy.

But, I'd be lying if I said the road we've walked over the past 3 months has been easy.  It's been hard.  So hard.  Harder than I ever thought possible.  We've held her while she grieved, had our patience tried minute after minute and day after day, cleaned the stinkiest poops EVER (often out of the tub), and have tried to understand when she flat out rejects us.  God has shown us the ugliest parts of our hearts, laid our sin bare, and brought us to our knees in tears of pain and frustration.

We have a LONG road ahead and some days we wonder if we'll come out on the other side unscathed.  We won't.  We'll have scars much like she does, telling of the wounds that we've had to bear and the sin we've had to battle.  But, by the grace of God, we will come out on the other side better people, walking more closely with Him, wearing a bit more of His righteousness, and knowing that in the end - it was all worth it.

Right now we are in the trenches.  Sadie brings us to our highest highs where joy feels like it's going to burst from our chests because there's no way it can be contained.  She also brings us to our lowest lows.  During these moments of sheer frustration, we lash out with words we should not say or show faces that are full of ugliness, anger, and frustration.  We need God here, in the trenches, and we've been begging Him to walk with us.  He is faithful and we can feel Him taking our hand, forgiving our sins, and showing us how to love.

"My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9

One week ago....

One week ago, to the minute as I type, we pulled into the driveway with our newest bundle of joy.  She was sound asleep, exhausted after 22 hours of traveling with very little sleep.

Three beautiful boys were waiting excitedly with Grammy and Grandpa...

watching out the window for our car to appear.

Finally, the moment we'd all waited so very long for arrived!

But, someone forgot to give Sadie the memo that this was the moment that she was supposed to be giggling, and smiling, and running into her brothers arms.

She was less than impressed by what was taking place.

And, totally uninterested in meeting those who had loved her for over a year and who had been praying for her for so very long.

Every so slowly, Sadie's eyes began to open,

and she saw three anxious, loving, and overjoyed boys starring with bright eyes at her.

A smile spread across her face at these...her brothers.

Luke begged to "hold her" - because to him, he's the big brother and she's the baby.  Never mind the fact that they are exactly the same size and he's actually the younger one.

He was so proud that he took the opportunity to steal his first kiss. 

After which he cried, "Her like me!  Her like me!!!!"

The sleep slowly lifted and her eyes grew brighter.

She began to babble to her siblings and they were smitten from the start.

Because what's not to love... 

about a girl who's smile lights up the room...

who instantly wraps her brothers around her finger...

and who opens her arms to love this crazy crowd of ours?!

A huge thanks to our sweet friend, Valerie Butler, for the amazing photos of this special moment in time!

Last two days in Bulgaria...

Hi, guys!  I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday at all, but I honestly didn't take any pictures.  We were tired, grumpy and ready to go home.  Those of you that adopt and spend weeks upon weeks in your child's birth country, my hat goes off to you.  You are amazing!  It's been 7 days since I saw my boys and I am ready to have them in my arms again!  We are all tired of this hotel room (although, thankfully, it's been very nice and comfortable), we are tired of the food and we are tired of smelling cigarette smoke all the time.  Even Sadie is ready to GO!  If we are hanging out in our room for too long, she brings us her shoes and fusses until we put them on.  Then she brings us our shoes and gestures for us to put them on, goes to the door and bangs on it.  We've taken multiple walks each day, for several miles each.  I will be in great shape when we return home!!

Thankfully, the days have had many sweet moments in the midst of the anxiousness to get home.  Sadie has started kissing us more and more.  She has fallen asleep in my arms several times.  She reaches for me when she is scared or when she perceives that there is a threat that she might be taken away from us.  I watched her climb 7 flights of stairs without stopping (for a kid with DS, she is STRONG), she has been eating great and has been chewing and swallowing better than we expected her to.  

Yesterday, we had our Embassy appointment in order to complete Sadie's VISA.  Our appointment was at 2:30pm, we arrived at 2:15 and finally had our interview at 3:30pm.  Sadie was a champ and climbed into my lap at the beginning of the long wait, laid her head on my shoulder and fell asleep.  She slept until 5 minutes before our name was called.  I was so thankful for this - it was such a sweet blessing!

She's been sleeping well each night, but we've decided that Daddy is much better at putting her to bed than Mama.  I think she thinks I'm there to play.  Daddy sits close, but reminds her that it's "Night, night time" and doesn't mess around.  She goes to sleep much quicker and better if I use that time to Skype with the boys rather than being in the room.  It will be interesting to see how the bedtime routine pans out once we are home, especially since Luke and Sadie will be sharing a room!

We fly out at 6am from Sofia to Germany, have a 5 hour layover and then fly straight in to Orlando.  Our flight arrives around 5:45pm.  Please pray for us as we travel - for safety in the air and for Sadie to do well with the flights!  Pray that she would sleep when she needs to sleep and be content to play quietly the rest of the time.  She can be a LOUD child, so prayers on our behalf and on the behalf of the other passengers would be greatly appreciated!  

My next post should have pictures of this sweet, beautiful girl meeting her brothers!!!!  

Hip hip hooray!!!!!  

Now to get packed and set the alarm for 4:15am...good night to all with much love from Bulgaria!

Getting to know you...getting to know all about you!

Y'all my heart is so full tonight with gratitude and joy that I feel it might explode.  Our daughter is beautiful - inside and out.  She's funny, smart (so smart!), and incredibly sweet.  She exudes love and happiness.  It just seeps from her pores.  Her smile lights up a room and lights up my heart.

As I type, I'm relegated to the hotel lobby where I just finished Skyping with the boys, Grammy and Grampa.  Right after I finished, I got a text from Andrew saying that I needed to stay put.  He'd given Sadie a bath and she was snuggled into him sucking her fingers and drifting off to sleep.  He wanted the time to bond and snuggle and cuddle.  This man - I adore him.

I could give you a play by play of the past two days, but I don't want to bore you.  So, I'll give you some snippets and lots of pictures (which I know is what you really want to see, anyway).  

Sadie loves sitting by the door to our balcony while she plays.  We've been keeping the door open most of the time to let in fresh air and she loves watching the cars pass by.

Yesterday afternoon, we made the mistake of letting her take a 3 hour nap.  Because of this, it took her FOREVER to get to sleep last night.  Finally, at 9:30pm, she gave in while lying on our bed.  We wanted her to get good and asleep before we transferred her to her crib.  After about 10 minutes, though, she rolled over, sat up and then dove head first off the bed.  Fortunately, Andrew was right there to break her fall, but that woke her up completely.  She didn't fall asleep for good until 11pm.  Thankfully, she went on to sleep through the night and woke up at 8:15 this morning happy as a clam!

This is what she looks like when she is mesmorized by a show on the ipad.  So far, we've learned that she loves anything with music (Baby Genius being the favorite) and Peppa Pig.

Cheese!

This "Juice in the Box" cup is AWESOME!  She isn't a drinker and we are really struggling to get liquid in her.  This is the only cup she'll use.  She won't touch a bottle, which I'm actually thankful for - we won't have to break her of it later.

The jammies she wore last night say it all.  Andrew said I jinxed us when I put those on her.  Good thing I don't believe in that sort of thing, or these might be burned ;).

A new day to dress girly and watch the cars pass by!

We discovered today that Sadie LOVES the Tula carrier!  We took her on two walks in it and both times she started out the walks with sunglasses on, waving and blowing kisses at all the trolleys passing by.  Both times, she also fell asleep.  I am so thankful she likes it and am hoping (and praying!) that it will be a great thing on the plane ride home!  However, let me tell you, I am not cut out to walk 4 miles in this thing!  I'm am going to be hurting tomorrow!  Hello, Advil!

Now that I'm looking at this picture, I'm wondering if that back support should be down farther?  Tula people - help a girl out and tell me if it needs to be fixed!  Also, any suggestions on how to not make her face lay on the clip thing?  I had to use a sock for a cushion!

After she slept, we bought our girl some lemon gelato and she smiled, giggled and waved to all the people walking by our outside table.  Then we headed down to the park.  She ran around, chased the pigeons, and fussed at us whenever we steered her in a different direction than the one she preferred.

We had the opportunity to witness her make a new friend.  She went up to this little fellow, gave him a hug, talked to him and handed him his toy.  She is so friendly!  I can't wait for her to meet the boys and to see them interact!

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She wore the crazy pigeons out!!

More Peppa the Pig!

She ate the best dinner tonight - better than we've ever seen her eat.  I think she's finally relaxing a little bit.  Afterward she was WIDE OPEN!  We were dying laughing!  I think she was so happy to have a belly full and to just feel good!

  

Waiting to Skype with her brothers!

Zonked out on Daddy!  

So, that's been our days.  It's been a blessed time of bonding for all of us!  Andrew and I have gotten a bit stir crazy at times and we are itching to get home to our family, but we are also trying to enjoy the one on one time that we have with her now.  God has been so good to us!  We thank you all for your love and your prayers.  I truly believe that she is doing so well because we have prayer warriors pleading with the Lord on her behalf.  With all of our hearts, we thank you, and we give God ALL of the glory!