Down Syndrome: Blessing or Burden?

Why would anyone purposely choose to carry the burden of raising a child with Down Syndrome?  Why would anyone choose to give up their future to love a little one who will likely grow up to be dependent on them for the rest of their lives?  Why would anyone chose a hard life of sacrifice, if they don't have to?

As we continue to blog about our decision to adopt and the reasons why we have chosen to walk down this path (rather, how God has called us to walk down this path), we need to address the very serious question:  why Down Syndrome?  If there are so many orphans in the world, many of whom are incredibly healthy, then why choose one that isn't perfectly so?

Hello??  Who in the world could resist a face like this?!

Seriously!  So much scrumptiousness in such a sweet little face!!  

All kidding aside, when we began feeling God calling us to adopt a child with Down Syndrome, we had the first of many conversations about what our future would look like.  We discussed the fact that getting a babysitter would be harder because we'd need one that understood Down Syndrome and was comfortable around a child with an extra chromosome.  We wrestled with the fact that going on trips with just the two of us would be harder because our parents (who, bless their sweet souls, usually keep our kids) would have their hands full with FOUR kids, one of whom has special needs.  Would they feel comfortable with this?  Would they feel they could handle it?  Next, we moved on to later in life:  were we talking about giving up the retirement years - those years when we would finally get to sleep in, read all we want to, golf, fish, travel and relax?  Would we have an adult dependent on us, unable to live on her own, who would make all those dreams of freedom and bliss disappear because of a decision we made when we were young and foolish and naive?  Finally, we discussed the hardest question of all:  What would happen when we die?  Would we be leaving a burden to our children?  Would they resent us for laying this responsibility on their lives?

So many questions and so few answers.  Yet, still, the Lord called and he answered our questions as verse after verse came to mind.  "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."  John 16:33.  "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for YOU are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  Psalm 23:4  "And I am sure of this, that he who began a  good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."  Philippians 1:6.  God was telling us that it may be hard.  He was saying that there are no guarantees that this child (or any child) will be independent and that we will enjoy an easy life with her.  But, he was reminding us of his promise:  to walk with us hand in hand when times get tough, just as he will do when times get hard raising our other three children.  It is a promise, a comfort, and it brought us peace.

But, there's something else.  I began to realize as we talked to friends who are raising children with Down Syndrome, that we can make a choice to see this child as a burden or to see her as a beautiful blessing.  How we view this child will shape who she is and what she is able to do in this world.  With God's help, we are choosing to see her as he sees her - as "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14).  There are three things that I believe with all my heart:

1. That this beautiful girl that is growing so rapidly in my heart is going bring more joy to our home than we can possibly imagine.
2. That though we will seek to teach our daughter everything she needs to know to grow in knowledge and truth, she is going to be the greatest teacher of all.  I believe that she will teach us (in fact, is teaching us already) patience, compassion, equality, perseverance, grace and so much more.
3. That our sweet baby will be able to do whatever she sets her mind to.  It may take a bit longer and she may have to work a bit harder, but she will accomplish her dreams.  Her brothers, her Daddy, and I will be there cheering her on every step of the way.  Because that's what families do and we are, without a doubt, her family.

So, the question in truth isn't "why would we choose to take on the burden of a child with Down Syndrome?"  The question, rather…the one that makes my heart want to explode with joy is... "Why would God choose us to receive the GIFT of a child with Down Syndrome?"  I feel so very unworthy to receive such a gracious and beautiful gift, but I am so very excited to unwrap it!